Food Rules vs. Food Values

Written by Michelle Shelton

February 2, 2024

As a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Wellness Coach, I work with people to build a healthier relationship with food and their body. We work on letting go of the guilt that so often comes with eating certain foods. We work on making peace with foods and letting go of their rigid food rules. While most of my clients recognize that rigid food rules typically lead to deep feelings of guilt, discouragement, and self criticism, often ultimately leading to more poor eating choices, it can still be a scary prospect to let go of them. These food rules keep them in-line with their health goals. If they let go of them, they fear complacency, letting go of caring all together. The good news is, you can let go of the rigidity, the fear, the anxiety, the stress around eating at the same time that you actually begin to care much more about your health and truly begin to prioritize real self-care. 

While I am not a fan of rigid health rules or a black and white approach (these foods are bad and these foods are good), I do believe that what you eat matters and how you take care of your body matters. As I work with clients to let go of food rules, I also work with them to clarify their food values. Food values are like a guiding star to help you navigate eating choices. They can help you redirect when you get off course. They are not rigid or punitive. They are simply a guide.

If this shift from food rules to food values is so important, how can you tell where you are and if you might benefit from this shift?  

If you live in the world of food rules, some or all of the below scenarios may feel familiar to you.

1. Food Rules are rigid. Foods are labeled good or bad. Eating might only be allowed at certain times. Foods must be eaten in a certain quantity or frequency. Food rules are external cues of what and how to eat, often misaligned to your actual body signals. 

2. Food Rules must be followed or there will be consequences. For example, you might believe you need to workout more or skip the next meal after eating an especially large or rich meal, regardless of what your body cues tell you. Other less direct consequences include fear, guilt, shame, or self-loathing.  

3. Food Rules often magnify or exaggerate the importance of an event or catastrophize the outcomes of a choice. For example, over exaggerating the importance of one meal or food choice. This might show up as feeling a fear of weight gain because you ate desert, or worrying about adverse health consequences for eating one highly processed meal. In reality, what and how you eat over time is what really matters. But intense food rules make it hard to keep this  perspective. 

If, on the other hand, you tend more toward holding food values, some or all of the below scenarios may feel familiar to you:

1. Food Values serve as a guide. The world of food and eating is rarely black and white. Food Values can help you navigate in the gray. Food is ingrained in all aspects of our culture, from the comfort food, to the holiday parties, to the quick convenience of fast food. Food Values can help you wisely navigate these scenarios in a way that honors your health.

2. Food Values provide plenty of room for flexibility. You may value whole grain foods with minimal processing and choose to eat this most of the time.  Eating an occasional highly processed meal does not change this value, and it will not have a significant impact on your health.

3. Food Values offer a more holistic approach to eating. Your food values may include a variety of facets, including health, environmental, sustainability, social connection, taste, satisfaction, and others. When two values conflict with each other, you have the ability to choose which one you will prioritize. For example, you may value eating foods with high nutritional content and value social connections at the same time. If the people you are with are eating foods you would not normally choose, or that you would not choose at that moment, you get to choose. You may choose to honor your connection with those friends and eat the food. Or you may choose to honor your body and politely decline the food. Values-based decisions provide empowerment and inner peace. There is no right or wrong – it is up to you.  

It is possible that some statements in both categories resonate with you. It’s not necessarily one or the other. You can think of it more as a spectrum. If you find yourself leaning more toward food rules, you may have some work to do to make peace with food. If you find yourself leaning more toward food values, you are in a great place to cultivate even more intentionality in your food choices and self care. Knowing your values around food and eating can be a powerful foundation as you build a lifestyle of health and caring for your body.